When Death Comes
When death comes
May her kiss be sweet
As she inhales your last exhale
When death comes
May you rest in the solace
That yours was a life that was lived
When death comes
May legions of angels
Joyfully sing your soul home
When death comes
May those left behind
Know “all shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.”
These words came in the night while by the bedside of a loved one who is very sick. What experiences have you had in the thin place of being with dying?
I spent the night my mother died sitting beside her, holding her hand. Near the end, when the breath had gentled, her mouth seemed to be forming the shape of Hello, Hello. And then at the very end of breath, her mouth opened wider than any singer’s Ah, and rested there, in perfect peace. Ah.
Elizabeth-what a beautiful, peaceful image. thank you.
I love this entry! I think of death/the afterlife so often, having lost my father and my beloved twin brother within 6 months last year. Thank you for these words Mary Bea; they comfort and encourage me.
Kathy-you have walked a difficult journey in an inspiring way. Losing people we love is hard, believing they are in a beautiful, pain-free place is a comfort.
I have often wondered if the soul leave our bodies with the last breath. Your poem is very beautiful.
Thanks for this beautiful poem, Mary. I’ve been remembering you and Malcolm. I know it’s a hard road to walk, but I also know from my close experience to death with my dying father ten years ago that these are sacramental days. You capture the sheer beauty of the thin places opened by life transitioning. Peace and blessings and thanks for sharing this lovely, moving poem. All shall indeed be well.
Alison-I have wondered that too. When these words came they were intended for Jimmie Ruth, Malcolm’s mom, but I had this sense of wishing this for everyone. thank you
My mother-in-law’s death was horrific and I was alone with her. I take comfort from the images others have shared here.
There is a beautiful poem by Mary Oliver, When Death Comes. Here it is.
When Death Comes
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measles-pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.
New and Selected Poems
by Mary Oliver (Beacon Press)
Carol-I am so sorry about that experience, for you and for her. You know, I kept thinking i had heard those words before, “When Death Comes.” I am sure now I know why. thank you. As you and I know from all of our work with Project Compassion, this is such an important conversation.
Mary, having walked this path just a few weeks ago with my dad, there is such comfort in your words. I am thinking of you guys constantly; whether we lose a loved one suddenly and tragically or slowly and peacefully, the significance of the loss remains the same. I wish each of you peace in this process. It is a thin line that we all walk, this life journey– the path on either side can be so beautiful. Thanks for reminding us of that.
Tracy-you have been on my mind too. It is really hard to lose someone suddenly like you did and not have the chance to say good bye. Thankfully, your dad knew you loved him. It’s another reminder not to leave the important things unsaid.
Mary Bea-
This blog comes at a well needed time. A friend of mine passed away this week after struggling with cancer. He was a mentor to me and I cherish his every word. I can hear his words of encouragement as I type this. He will be truly missed because he did not just touch my life but the lives of many, many people. He was an angel to others and will continue to be one.
The funeral is today and these messages are so appropriate to help me deal with my feelings. What I do know is life is on loan and we need to live it fully. Find wholeness and count our every blessing.