Can We Pause?
My husband Malcolm and I were on the verge of leaving—I mean we were packed and heading out within the hour, for a 12-day, multi-state trip, when something important came up that led us to choose to abandon our plans. We made the decision at 6:30 am and by 6:45 am I was listing a litany of alternate ways for us to maximize this unexpected time at home. “Now we can attend that funeral. I can visit with that person who wanted to discuss a consulting opportunity. We can bike 30 miles. We can hike all of Oak Mountain. We can clean out the shed, the basement, and every closet….”
Malcolm’s face twisted in a knot. Being incredibly observant (ha!) I said, “It looks like you’re upset. What’s the matter?”
“Could we just PAUSE?” Malcolm wearily asked. “Let’s just pause. Let’s not plan anything; or tell anyone we are home; or worry about any house projects.” Then he continued. “I would like an entire week of doing what we want when we want. I need a pause.”
Attending to Malcolm’s wisdom, we surrendered to the pause. Something about claiming a social-free, work-free, plan-free zone allowed me to give the “Guilt Girl” a break. Maybe you know her—the one who needs to be productive? “Guilt Girl” needs to be making sure she’s making “the most of every moment (even living intentionally can feel like pressure).” “Guilt Girl” cannot know of one person in distress without reaching out to make sure he or she is alright.
A few observations from The Pause:
Extended pausing is a luxury. Daily pause is a practice.
The busier we are, the more likely we are to mindlessly agree to keep the hamster wheel rolling. Pausing the reflex that immediately reacts to texts, emails, social media posts, etc. provides greater clarity about when to say “yes” with commitment; and when to say “no,” assured we are getting out of the way for someone else to fill that space.
Pausing heightens awareness of birds chirping and flowers blooming—the experience of joy is increased. Or another way to say it is—Embracing the Pause, eyes see,ears hear, and hearts tune to the holy.
It can be unsettling to have unplanned, unstructured time and this helps us to identify our addiction to busyness, or delusion that a packed calendar is a symbol of worthiness/importance.
I am not proposing we always live in Pause mode, simply that we honor the wisdom of the Pause in small doses daily, and perhaps a big dose periodically. For many, summer is a time to live into the sacred need to pause—to be held in the Heart of the Holy and listen devoutly to life. I pray some time to pause for you.
Also, if you wish to pause and listen to a beautiful conversation about wellness, I highly suggest this video.
